Tag: ray lew (page 1 of 1)

December 25, 2014 / 0 Comments

2014 Annual Report

“You know you’re better than that.” – Little Dragon, Mirror

I didn’t make goals for 2014. I had professional ones, sure, but no overarching personal plan like I had in 2013. This year rapidly got away from me and I never caught up.

2014 was hard. Is hard. A review of my activity on Thinkup would lead you to believe that this year started in August with the murder of Michael Brown and the rising tide of emotion and action that has come since. This is what I leave this year with: that racism continues to dominate the institutions that make up our society and it is quite literally killing and terrorizing black people and this must change. Black lives matter. I want to scream it.

sometimes i do.

Also, men are terrible. And the evidence suggests want to be and want to continue to be. This too must change. I apologize for any and all actions during my life where I wasn’t the man, the human, I like to think I am. 

See? 2014 got me fucked up.


I’ve thought about this a lot since I tumblr’ed it in September. I’ve failed at this professionally since about August. I haven’t “made fun” but I’ve definitely leaned towards complaint over action. I hope to shake that off over the next 2 weeks and begin 2015 in Just Do It mode. No excuses. Make cool shit. Every day.

This is not to give short shrift to the accomplishments of the year at work. We started publishing live entertainment stories on AXS.com in April, right before Jazz Fest. Speaking of, I got to attend my first New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival this year! I wrote a few things I liked. We took what we learned from our first six months in responsive design on Examiner.com (I may not be proud of a good chunk of what gets published there but I’m proud of our UX work) and kicked it up several notches. I got to be creative in ways I haven’t been since I left The Mouse.

But I end the year feeling like we worry about the wrong things and not chasing greatness with what we publish.

Make cool shit. Every day.

At home and with friends, I’ve felt, I don’t know, distracted or distant, maybe? I’ve been so consumed with navigating work, I haven’t had mental space for much else including those I love. I don’t mean the grand gestures or the emergencies and the like. It’s easy for me to come through in those situations. It’s easy for me to give. But in the every day? In the small moments? I don’t think I really had it for y’all this year like I would want and I’m sorry. Brotha’s gonna work it out.

A toast to my health. Despite carrying 10 pounds more this year than last, I’ve been consistent with a personal trainer for the last six months. I’ve taken much greater advantage of my insurance and I’m getting every closer to buying a ticket on the eat right train. My doctor says I’m strong like bull so we’ll stick with that. I just want to be a more fit bull who is slimmer around the middle.

I also have to be more honest about my needs emotionally.

https://twitter.com/misterjt/status/545357397296807936

I tend to keep it pretty level but, this year, I think I’ve needed more…something. I don’t know what it is so I haven’t been able to say out loud to anyone, give me this, but there’s a hole. I’m feeling some kind of way about the world, about what I’m doing or not doing to make it a better place, and about the life I’m leading and I need…something. The early part of 2015 has got to be about figuring that out and saying out loud the answer to the equation.

But, tonight, let’s get to the accounting of things. I traveled to San Francisco, Denver (twice), New Orleans (twice), Palm Springs, Phoenix, and DC this year (I think that’s it). My office moved to Downtown LA at the beginning of the year and I really like working in that part of the city. I’ve never driven to the office.

I really need to do a better accounting of the shows I go to each year. Ray, once again, puts me to shame. But there were a few pretty exceptional shows. My sister, Dominique Toney, essentially closing the 4th of July show at Exposition Park (sorry Troop); Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings at the Wiltern with Sharon’s amazing post-cancer energy and short hair. Big Freedia on the Congo Stage at Jazz Fest just a few weeks after her mom passed. Laura Mvula on the Jazz Fest main stage. DJ Spinna’s Wonder-ful set at the Echoplex with Stevie Wonder showing up to surprise him and perform a bit. Har Mar Superstar in New Orleans on my birthday by myself. Also, Rhye. Jessie Ware. And a grip more at the echo/echoplex I’m forgetting. 

The best thing I experienced this year, though, hands down was the WNBA All-Star Game in Phoenix. It was the most entertaining women’s basketball game I’ve ever seen live. It was amazing how much of a women’s basketball town Phoenix is (and lovely to see considering Los Angeles…isn’t.) I was high off that experience for weeks.

That game and everything around it reminded me that for all the shit of 2014, we live in a world where a rookie from a reservation can be the best baller on the floor. We live in a world where an out lesbian black woman dunks with regularity and is cheered for it. This world exists. 

The world changes. The world is changing. It starts small. It gets big. You put in the work. You make cool shit. Every day.

And some days, like on July 19th 2014, your shit is the coolest shit.

Thanks 2014. I won’t miss you but I hope to think back on you fondly as the spark.

December 31, 2013 / 0 Comments

2013 Annual Report

“Wasted time, can’t get that back, so everything I go hard.” – Pusha T, No Regrets


awesome.jpgawesome.jpg

These were the goals for 2013 (written in February):

  • Do more of what makes you awesome
  • Be more invested…
    • In the lives of those I love
    • In the moment
    • In my own well-being
  • Go outside and see, do, live

The last one is easy to assess. I saw nearly 20 musical performances live this year. I started going to yoga on most Saturdays. I traveled to Greensboro, Denver, New Orleans, Louisville, Palm Springs, La Jolla and San Diego, Santa Cruz, San Francisco, and even stay-cationed in Santa Monica for Valentine’s Day. I walked more, biked more, and ended the year spending way more time in public transportation than my car. I accepted more invitations than I declined and I regularly felt inspired by my experiences away from most of my screens.

I won’t be making my goals for 2014 for another month but I hope this trend grows and continues. Ray spent his 2013 going to 157 shows which is insane but also feels like a challenge. More shows in 2014, y’all. Must.

I feel ill-equipped to determine how I did on being more invested. One of the interesting parts of living in the default of optimism is I have short memory for “bad things.” So, what I know is that I was much more deliberate about being engaged and admonished myself (often in my journal) when I noticed I wasn’t. I did spend more time with my sister this year. I saw friends near and far a little more often and tried to make the most of that time. I relished the moments when Tiffany and I turned off our gadgets and just talked.

I didn’t see my parents as much as I would’ve liked. I didn’t talk to my extended family as much as I would’ve liked (but more than I’ve done in recent years). I skipped a funeral.

In matters of my own well-being, I read more. I wrote more. I learned a little bit. I got easily derailed from my commitments to physical health. I’m more successful at getting back to exercise and far less good at staying on the eat right train. As usual.

And so we get to the big question: Did I do more of what makes me awesome? At work, I think so. I struggled with managing a team from afar but we accomplished most of our goals for the year. I stayed committed to quality and discipline and a balanced and pragmatic approach to strategic decisions. I took advantages of opportunities as they presented themselves and created some great opportunities in the process.

In life as a whole, I worked hard at being kind. Outside of people on terrible reality television shows, I presumed the best of intentions of those I interacted with more often than I thought the worst. I’d like to think that’s my default now. Should we meet, know that I assume you are intelligent and capable and that I don’t know the troubles in your life. I hope our interaction is filled with dignity and compassion.

I’m sure I fail at “being more awesome” constantly but I’m trying y’all. And because I made it a goal and a practice this past year, I’d like to think I got a little bit better at it ever day.

Thanks 2013.