Personal

I turned 48 this year and celebrated with my family at Mother Wolf—a restaurant selected by my sister and that you may have read about recently. It was a rainy day, but it was a lovely, quiet way to spend it, given what the rest of the year would bring.

Tiffany and I traveled to Paris and Barcelona in May. We took a cross-country train ride that delighted me. I spoke bad French and Spanish and learned the magical powers of a properly made gin & tonic. I should have blogged about this trip. Maybe I still will.

My fashion concept was heavily informed by Black Ivy: A Revolt in Style and the hyper-targeted brands I see on Instagram.

I saw a play at the Berkeley Repertory Theatre. I flew semi-private once. I went to an NFL game at SoFi Stadium. I experienced a hurriquake. We made it to yet another WNBA All-Star game. I attended my first NWSL game and made it back to another MLS game as well.

I learned what a subacute is. I dealt with the reality of an aging parent and what that means.

April 23rd will be the day I most remember. It was my dad’s 70th birthday, and the day he revealed his cancer diagnosis to us.

My mother, sister, Auntie Pat, Tiffany, and some incredible family friends have been fantastic this year. I’m honored to have them, especially when things get complicated.

2023 was a melancholy year, but things will get better. Holidays may look different with a Goldbelly Thanksgiving and a Christmas Eve restaurant dinner. Time with family may be around hospital beds with masks on, but life will be.

Money

The money story this year is an interesting one. After nearly 12 years of marriage, we combined our finances. It has eased both our minds a bit to see it all together. The simple answer is all my money went into our joint account, where bills are paid and investments are made.

I earmarked funds for travel and took the upgrade whenever possible.

Tiffany says she’s feeling flush, so maybe most of our discretionary income went towards building our nest egg.

Sitting courtside at Sparks games remains the best splurge. Our friend circle has expanded because of it, and the intimacy of the experience is always joyful. It’s my church. It keeps me sane.

I was most excited by our celebrity seat neighbor asking for our phone number. Money may not be able to buy you happiness but if you use it right, it may provide ways of accessing it.

Resolutions

I don’t have any 2023 New Year’s resolutions written down anywhere that I can find. I didn’t blog about it. It’s not in my journal. There’s no weird project I started in Notion and promptly forgot about. Nada.

I do have in my head that I wanted to be a good plant dad and was successful. All our plants are thriving thanks to being committed to the scheduled tasks in the Planta app.

I will make some resolutions for 2024 that will continue cultivating what I have learned about myself in 2023. Honoring commitments to my loved ones while integrating my whole self at work and with friends is necessary at this stage. I don’t have time to compartmentalize. Sharing more about how I was doing emotionally with more people than ever has played a significant role in navigating the challenges of the last 12 months. I did not acknowledge that I was struggling during the summer. I did not ask for help. I only voiced concerns early and often if solicited.

Doing so eased burdens and cleared the fog, giving me the clarity and strength needed to be the son and brother I have been required to be in the last few months.

Time with people I enjoy has been scarce since 2020, and this year, I still haven’t had the frequency of hanging with my friends that I would like. Those COVID “safe-at-home” behaviors have created hard habits to break.

I could have been a more confident leader in 2023. I have been actively correcting that over the last month and want to continue that push into 2024.

Lessons Learned

The clock is ticking.

Be your whole self in all places and spaces.

Don’t carry anger that is not yours.