Tag: home (page 1 of 1)

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November 26, 2020 / 0 Comments

Stand Together

“Yeah, as the earth spins into a brand new day/ I see the light on the horizon’s not fading away”

— Beastie Boys


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I went downtown yesterday for the first time since the pandemic began. Perhaps, the first time this year? Who even remembers what you were personally doing in January and February of 2020?

Anyway, in only my third or fourth trek out of the valley in nine months, I trundled through holiday traffic to pick up our pre-made Thanksgiving Dinner—who wants to cook for fun or ceremony right now?—from a fancy restaurant. Things like the chaotic puzzle of getting over from the 110/101 merger to the 4th street exit haven’t changed, nor has the amount of construction happening in DTLA.

The surface streets were emptier, though. Free street parking was available, and the sidewalks were not full of people moving around. They were, however, bursting with tents. “Garcettivilles” are what some of the most assertive activists on the socials have taken to calling them. They are in my neighborhood as well, particularly along the river at Van Nuys and Riverside. If you’ve had the privilege of staying home only roaming a few blocks in your zip code as I have been, you do not have a scale of the problem.

Unhoused neighbors are everywhere! Along Main and Spring. In every patch of grass on the side of the 101. It’s maddening that we allow for people to fall into homelessness in these numbers at any time but during a pandemic? What are we doing?

I thought this as I picked up our expensive meal-for-two, which we can afford easily because no one in our house has lost work this year. No one in my immediate or extended family has contracted the virus (yet). I’m sure some have had to pinch a penny here and there, but no one has struggled to feed or house themselves. I’ve gotten healthier in 2020. We’ve been able to make our place more of a home, buying furniture, hanging art and photos, replacing appliances, and making fuller use of the space.

We even voted out that guy.

We’re fortunate, and I’m grateful. There are people in tents all over Los Angeles today. This year has gone very differently for them, likely due to circumstances well beyond their control. Regardless, a nation, a state, a county, a city, and a community as wealthy as ours shouldn’t allow it to happen.

We could stand together. It’s about time. We got to get together.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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June 2, 2019 / 0 Comments

If Beale Street Could Talk

“We are happy, even, that we have food enough for Daniel, who eats peacefully, not knowing that we are laughing, but sensing that something wonderful has happened to us, which means that wonderful things happen, and that maybe something wonderful will happen to him. ”

— James Baldwin

My favorite scenes in If Beale Street Could Talk (both the film and the book) happen at home. The first—though, chronologically, the second—is in the apartment Tish shares with her family. She reveals that she is pregnant to her mother, who creates a small celebration around the dining table with Tish’s sister and father to bring them into the joy and fright of a possible new life.

Then they invite Fonny’s parents and siblings over so that they might also enjoy and live in the news. It doesn’t go as well, but in it, we learn about the power and limits of hospitality and the malleability in the definition of family. It’s instructive for all that will follow in the story.

The other setting I love is the one quoted above. Fonny has a place in the world that is his, and sometimes it is also Tish’s, and they can invite an old friend into it and share a meal and fellowship. I do not know that I’ve read words more beautiful than Baldwin’s in describing that feeling of being able to provide respite to another. To sit around a table, break bread, drink a little, and talk. The intimacy and hope and security it brings, even if only for a few hours.

It builds us up. It fortifies us for whatever the world might throw our way.

We are in the process of buying a place right now. After figuring out if a space fits us, the next question on my mind is will it meet the needs of our people. We aren’t constant hosts, inviting others into our residence frequently, though we consider doing so often. Last year, my family tried to establish a new tradition of monthly dinners at each of our spots across the city. We were pretty good for about half the year, and I very much enjoyed the times we hosted including a Mother’s Day meal that had more people seated at our table than ever before. More common, though, is for us to have a single guest over, like Fonny and Tish, and we put on some music and pour some liquor, and we treat each other with kindness and sincerity for as long as necessary.

Lately, I’ve taken to watching home tours on Architectural Digest’s YouTube channel. People seem to take a few different approaches to make the home of their dreams: to impress, to nest, or to welcome (occasionally, a home contains all three).

What I’ve learned watching those tours, especially while I’ve been reading Baldwin’s words is that if we get nothing else right, let’s do the last. Let’s make it so that our family—blood or chosen—feels welcome and that from the time they enter and until they leave, they will know that something wonderful happening is always a possibility.