Tag: good works (page 1 of 1)

On Living Wisely: Finding Meaning in the In-Between Time

 

“Offer me something inside. A place to go. A place to hide.” – Jessie Ware, Something Inside

What does it mean to live a good life? What about a productive life? How about a happy life? How might I think about these ideas if the answers conflict with one another? – Richard J. Light, How to Live Wisely (New York Times)

Yesterday, I tried to reconcile how I want to be spending my time with how I spend my time. I was unsure, so I spent time SnapChatting my day to see what was going on. I don’t think I did enough talking about what actually happened so tomorrow I’m going to do more explaining. More storytelling.

Today’s exercise, though, asks about how I spend my spare time.

Well, right now, I’m writing. It’s 8:51 P.M. and I’ve watched the premiere of The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (Good job, kid!) and what I’d rather be doing than anything else is typing words into the white screen that Ulysses provides. I don’t do this enough. 

I wrote on the first night of XOXO:

I’m most human when I’m writing.

That’s true. I also feel most human when I’m reading other people’s words. I do that often. When I take a break from work and grab an iced skinny hazelnut latte at the nearby Starbucks or take lunch by myself, I’m usually spending my time with the writing of others.

I talk a lot and watch a lot of basketball. When I was a kid, Hell, up until my late twenties, I played a lot of basketball. These days, I’m particularly passionate about women’s pro ball. We are season ticket holders for the Los Angeles Sparks. I’ve seen more women’s basketball live than I’ve seen any other sport, by far.

I love television and consume it in large quantities.

So how do I spend my spare time? Writing. Reading. TV. Ball is life.

Now, the way the question is presented in the Times article, the question is meant to help a person focus their college studies. I extrapolate that to presume this is supposed to be a good way to make decisions professionally, but I’m not so sure. What I know is that when I’ve had to write as the primary work product of a job, it’s dimmed my love for writing.

Having worked in/around television for the bulk of my professional career, my love for it only grows when immersed in the process. I like how those donuts get made. I imagine, at some point, I will get back to that.

I do a lot of reading as part of my gig now. Reading. Editing. Massaging copy. I should do more of it. It’s painful but making someone else’s words better whether through soft nudges or complicated surgery is satisfying.

If a professional basketball team came calling for my services in some way, I’d have to consider it but I worry it would tarnish my love of the game. I’m a fan first. Could I still be with a paycheck on the line?

What I didn’t mention to this point is that I also enjoy doing things in service of the greater good. I didn’t include it because I don’t do enough of it.

I’m making time for writing and reading and basketball and my eyes glued to the endless hours of great tv, but I haven’t been creating space for making the world a better place.

Huh.

There it is.

A moment of clarity.  

An Inconvenient Truth

“Then I’ll dig a tunnel from my window to yours.” – Arcade Fire, Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)

“Always go to the funeral” means that I have to do the right thing when I really, really don’t feel like it. I have to remind myself of it when I could make some small gesture, but I don’t really have to and I definitely don’t want to. I’m talking about those things that represent only inconvenience to me, but the world to the other guy. You know, the painfully under-attended birthday party. The hospital visit during happy hour. The Shiva call for one of my ex’s uncles. In my humdrum life, the daily battle hasn’t been good versus evil. It’s hardly so epic. Most days, my real battle is doing good versus doing nothing.

– Deirdre Sullivan*

I didn’t go to the funeral. My uncle died a few weeks ago and I didn’t go. My reasons for not attending were legitimate and understandable. I sent bouquets—the only flowers at the ceremony—but I wasn’t physically there.

This isn’t a guilty confession but an acknowledgment that I don’t always do the most good. Sometimes I do the amount of good I can get away with.

I don’t make many phone calls because they are inconvenient to me. I know what they mean to those folks who most appreciate phone calls, like grandmothers, and yet…

One of the the conversations I’ve been having with myself lately is around how you know you’re a grown-up? What, in fact, it means to be a grown-up at all. Halfway to my 39th birthday and I pretend like I don’t really have a clue.

That’s not true. Maybe what it means to be a grown-up is to allow yourself to be inconvenienced by the greater good. To put yourself out. To be less comfortable so that others can be more comfortable.

To always attend the funeral. And send the card. And go when invited. And pick up the phone.

Small inconveniences can have big impacts. And, even if they don’t, so what? 

What does a kindness cost you?

*Thanks Potluck. I hadn’t been there in awhile and this was the fifth link shared with me. It saved me from writing about the VMAs. #whatevermileycyrus