It wasn’t every day that I would join my dad on his doctor’s visits, but on one of those rare occasions, we met with a new doctor who said, “Men our age have to figure out life in retirement.”
My dad’s voice, though weakened, still carried the strength of his spirit. ‘I’m not retired,’ he declared, ‘I’m a musician, composer, conductor, and author.’ His words were a testament to his unwavering dedication to his craft and the life he and his God had created.
The doctor apologized, and we moved on, but over the last year, no matter the circumstance, Kevin Toney wanted those who would treat and care for him to know who he was.
Musician. Composer. Conductor. Author. Son. Brother. Husband. Father. Man of God.
His titles were posted in his room to remind us that he was much more than a patient.
No matter who he was to us as individuals, his presence resonated far beyond our spheres. Kevin Toney was a beacon of inspiration, a guiding light, and a source of comfort to countless others worldwide.
When we needed to communicate on his behalf—to receive his messages, answer his emails, respond to voicemails, and such—it became apparent that his list of signifiers should grow.
He was also a mentor to so many. As his son, I saw him as quiet, often stoic. He always had his questions for me, but he was comfortable listening to the rest of us be vocal at home. I thought of him as speaking with his fingers on a keyboard or with a mic in his hand.
But that was not the whole of him. With his broad circle of family, friends, colleagues, fans, and beyond, he was loud. He was a frequent and trusted voice in so many lives.
Fred Rodgers—the children’s TV host—talked about looking for helpers during a tragedy. In so many lives, Kevin Toney was that Helper. He was generous with his time, his dollars, and his wisdom.
The most critical honorific I can convey to him, which I have said about him over the years, is that “he is a good man.” My father’s journey was not always smooth. He faced his share of challenges and made mistakes along the way. But what set him apart was his unwavering commitment to self-improvement. He tried hard to be a better person every day, to learn from his mistakes, and to make amends. He didn’t want regrets. He sought to correct his transgressions. He wanted no relationship in his life to sit in conflict. He was ever hungry for reconciliation, connection, mutual respect, and love.
Those are the actions of a musician, composer, conductor, author, son, brother, husband, father, mentor, Helper, good man, and man of God.
Dad, you have left an indelible mark on this world, and your legacy will continue to inspire and guide us. Thank you for the music, the wisdom, and the love. We will carry your memory in our hearts forever.
My father, Kevin Toney, made his peaceful transition on March 18th, 2024. We laid him to rest on April 4th, 2024.
In lieu of flowers, you can make a donation to The Kevin Toney Memorial Scholarship Fund at Howard University.